spread love its the brooklyn way

i love brooklyn. i don't think i'd live anywhere else. but living here. i never ceased to be amazed by the coon ass behavior i encounter on a regular basis.

so i'm in target [the new one on flatbush junction.] after i get off of work. in my business attire and all. bullshittin on the phone with my mom. sittin on the ledge in front of the valentine's day cards which i absentmindedly browsed while asking my mom whether it was the greatest idea to buy this awesome ass bookcase and lug that shit home. anyhoo. i'm just bullshittin. literally yappin away.

all of a sudden. i notice out of the corner of my eye. a target employee lurking at the end of the aisle. i guess in his brain he was stealthily stalking me...pretending to log some items as his cover-up. i'm talkin on the phone with my mom and i just keep seeing this man. lingering at the aisle. checking and re-checking nothingness.

me [whispering]: ohhh my god mom!!! they sent the dogs after me.
mom-dukes: hahahaha! what??
me [still whispering]: they think i'm tryna take target downnnn so they sent reinforcements!! ohh emmm geee.
mom-dukes: hahahahaha. they think you're stakin out the place and callin your accomplice.
me: omg mom...that's messed up.

damn. i was prime suspect in target last night. security radio[ing] each other and givin me dirty looks whole time. just cuz i lingered a little longer than they liked in the valentines day cards section.

shit was fugged up.